Pain

This last few days has been interesting... in that now that I "know" that there is a reason for my pain I have felt that I can actually 'feel' it.  Does that make sense?  For many years it has been implied that the pain is all in my head, when in reality I knew I could actually feel it.

I am pretty sure that my first injury (my lower herniated disc) was when I worked at a meat market in Prince George back in 1987.  I was lifting things that were way too heavy and one day I ended up spasming and going home, the pain actually made me vomit and when I did so I spasmed again with such force I could not stand straight up, and remained in that pain for days.  My dear husband came from a family of 5 strong boys and an extremely strong father, so I am pretty sure that he just felt that I should 'buck up'.  Sadly I tried... only to continue to damage my back more over the last 22 years.

The herniated disc in the upper back I believe happened gradually over time... 4 babies in 6 years, carrying 2 on my hip at the same time (Trevor and Tavis are one year, one month and one day apart), and all the regular everyday house hold maintenance attributed to the injury.  When the boys were babies I was told by 3 doctors, a physiotherapist and massage therapist that I should not LIFT anything... pretty much impossible when you have 2 babies that need to nap, have diapers changed, be soothed, etc.  At one point my mom came and stayed for a month and after being relieved of ALL duties and going to massage I recovered enough to carry on!

Every day I feel tension in my neck, shoulders and upper back and it has been that way for so many years now I can't remember having a day where I didn't feel PAIN, but for the first time I have given myself permission to actually FEEL it... because now I know there is a real reason for it... it is not in my head after-all.  Tomorrow I go to town, I am going to pick up the prescriptions that the doctor gave me. It is a pain management program (heavy duty drugs).  At first I was hesitant... I did a lot of research and asked some friends (one being a pharmacist) what their opinion was and I have decided to at least give it a try.  I would like to test and see what it would be like to have a day where I feel NO PAIN... hmmmm... not sure that is possible... but I am going to give it a try.  I also had a few friends recommend ART (Active Release Technique) and apparently there is a certified technician in the Miramichi.  I am going to line up an appointment to see if that might make a difference as well.  Thankfully, for now, we have medical coverage... we were without (except for basic government coverage) until September and this last year and half has taken a toll financially when it comes to medical procedures (trips to and from specialists, back and forth into town, carpal tunnel hand splints, etc etc etc) and medicine.

So I can say that things are looking up... even though I am still in pain I have hope that one day things may be resolved and I may not have to live with constant chronic nagging pain! That would be amazing!

I appreciate your prayers.
Love,
Charlene